cause and effect

you have such little faith in real relationships or the institution of marriage that you actually believed it really wasn't meant for you. (Sorry dad, but) You really don't want to take your father's relationship route -- now happily married, but three time's a charm. you messed up your last real relationship with all kinds of misconceptions about timing and knowing yourself or your own feelings well enough to recognize a good thing, or not, when faced with it. no regrets tho, it was for the best. so you think you have a plan, or plan on having no plans. either way, you don't want to let yourself fall. but you forget that messing up is what makes you a person. and so you learn... where you find joy... and the things you don't plan for are the things you never see coming. because the thing about plans are, they don't take into account the unexpected, so when you are thrown a curveball, you have to improvise, move onto "plan b" and make the most of it.

it's almost as if I can look back just a couple of months and things are just a blur. everything just flew off as trivial, insignificant because he just turned my whole world upside down and shook it until everything fell out. my way of being in the world... changed. now, feeling the possibility of loosing what is most precious to me... has allowed me to feel something that maybe i didn't have before, but when i felt it, i felt that I could really loose. that what I take for granted might not always be.... So, I am ready for...

The Adventure (music and lyrics by Angels and Airwaves)

I wanna have the same last dream again,
the one where I wake up and I'm alive.
Just as the four walls close me within,
my eyes are opened up with pure sunlight.
I'm the first to know,
my dearest friends,
even if your hope has burned with time,
anything that's dead shall be re-grown,
and your vicious pain, your warning sign,
you will be fine.

Hey, oh, here I am,
and here we go, life's waiting to begin.

Any type of love - it will be shown,
like every single tree reach for the sky.
If you're gonna fall,
I'll let you know,
that I will pick you up
like you for I,
I felt this thing,
I can't replace.
Where everyone was working for this goal.
Where all the children left without a trace,
only to come back, as pure as gold,
To recite this all.

Hey, oh, here I am,
and here we go, life's waiting to begin.
Tonight,
hey, oh, here I am,
and here we go, life's waiting to begin.
Tonight,
hey, oh, here I am,
and here we go, life's waiting to begin.

I cannot live, I can't breathe
unless you do this with me
I cannot live, I can't breathe
unless you do this with me
I cannot live, I can't breathe
unless you do this with me
I cannot live, I can't breathe
unless you do this with me
I cannot live, I can't breathe
unless you do this with me
I cannot live, I can't breathe
unless you do this with me

Hey, oh, here I am (do this with me),
and here we go, life's waiting to begin (do this with me).
Hey, oh, here I am (do this with me).
And here we go, life's waiting to begin,
life's waiting to begin.