Today, rather than focus on the beginning and the end, let's celebrate the in between and how Grandma Yuri touched us all throughout her life and will continue to have an impact on each of us now and into the future.
Grandma Yuri was the second youngest daughter of 7 -- she had 5 sisters and 1 brother. She had only an 9th grade education but supported her family by working at Sears. I would hear stories from her work days of how she would rally the employees, bring food, train the rookies and be sort of an iconic spirit of good deed and togetherness. A loyal workhorse and innate leader, she stayed with Sears for 19 years, a few years short of full retirement, leaving to take care of Manny.
She and Manny moved to the mainland in 1957. I remember afternoons spent at her and grandpa's El Monte home, where many friends and neighbors would pass through. She always had stories to tell and food to give.
In 1990, she moved to northern California to be closer to her daughters and grandchildren. She spoiled us as all, as grandparents do, but you never left without your lesson. "Eat, eat, eat she would say, and finish every grain of rice on your plate...there are starving children somewhere."
Lauren recalls sleeping over at grandmas, spending early mornings going through the garden while grandma attended to her veggies with utmost diligence. Lauren played "insect keeper" while grandma was "gardener". Grandma Yuri's green thumb not only harvested the yummiest of fresh veggies and fruits for breakfast but also snails and caterpillars for Lauren's insect collection.
During the holidays, grandma was in full force. Kelvin remembers her ruling the roost, delegating responsibilities to the grand kids all the while cooking up a storm with dishes chock full of fresh veggies from her garden. And these dishes were so yummy! Megan always looked forward to feasts at grandmas.
It seems that every time I visited, I not only gained 5 pounds but left with leftovers, sometimes char sui or even a bag of manapua to bring back to my college dorm freezer for those breakfasts on the run.
Her love had few bounds and was even blunt. One thanksgiving, the family was gathered in her Stanley road home, sharing the meal. she was the first at the table and always the last to finish eating. Each bite seemed purposeful. She always complained that we all ate too fast; and a half full plate was no good, it should either be full or completely empty. In the same breath, she would again tell you to eat, eat, eat some more, but also tell you that you were too fat.
As she aged, she aged with grace. Head held high, she moved herself closer to family, knew when it was time to give up her drivers license, when to move in literally next door, when to move IN with Auntie Carol, and when in the end, to finally let go. with grace too came pride, she took ownership of every role she played, as attentive next door neighbor, dutiful babysitter, courteous hostess, diligent house guest, loving mother and indulgent grandmother. She felt shame to be a burden to her daughters, who really only saw their reciprocation of care as an extension of thanks for bringing them into this world...it was no burden at all.
I'd like to close with a poem called The Dash by Linda Ellis.
I read of a man who stood to speak
At the funeral of a friend
He referred to the dates on her tombstone
From the beginning to the end
He noted that first came the date of her birth
And spoke the following date with tears,
But he said what mattered most of all
Was the dash between those years
For that dash represents all the time
That she spent alive on earth.
And now only those who loved her
Know what that little line is worth.
For it matters not how much we own;
The cars, the house, the cash,
What matters is how we live and love
And how we spend our dash.
So think about this long and hard.
Are there things you'd like to change?
For you never know how much time is left,
That can still be rearranged.
If we could just slow down enough
To consider what's true and real
And always try to understand
The way other people feel.
And be less quick to anger,
And show appreciation more
And love the people in our lives
Like we've never loved before.
If we treat each other with respect,
And more often wear a smile
Remembering that this special dash
Might only last a little while.
So, when your eulogy is being read
With your life's actions to rehash
Would you be proud of the things they say
About how you spent your dash?
***
May you walk away today with happiness in your heart, celebrating the life of Grandma Yuri, and like she did, making the most of her dash.
- kimiko nishikawa, granddaughter
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